- Gotta forehand, mate – need to be at St. Joseph's by 12 to hand in little Casper's application.
- But that's a church school. You don't even believe in God.
- I don't believe in comprehensives either, I'm afraid. Do you think those communion wafers are organic or will he need to take his own ones in?
- We've got a situation, darling. I think Harry's worked out that Father Christmas isn't real.
- Bugger. That's Omega-3ed it. What happened?
- I think the pomegranate muesli in the Sherbet Dip tube may have been a step too far.
- Hmm.
- If I hear one more Cameron-and-Blair word out of you, young man, I'm taking those "hip-hop" CDs of yours and throwing them in the bin.
- But Mum… I'm on bloody Radio… er…
- TIMOTHY! I don't care if you're on Radio 1 or not: headphones off and straight to bed – now.
- Ah look - a country tavern. How about some excellent old-fashioned pub rotary and a few beers, darling?
- Not if the rotary's got carbohydrates in it. I'm watching my arse.
- Oh well. I suppose someone has to.
